I *Heart* My Mom

Sometimes we forget just how much our moms have done for us over the years and one day they arent gonna be around. Yeah I know what your thinking, whats she got all seroius for all of a sudden? Well, when you hit a bit of an oil slick along the path of life you tend to 'take stock', whatever that means.

Since my mom got sent down I have realy missed her! Not just because she did all the cooking, cleaning and ironing - thats obvoius. I realy miss all the rows we had about me coming home later, keeping my room untidy, being cheeky to my dad and for sitting on my brothers face and farting. All the things that normal familys get up to.

I realy miss all of that. Its been so quiet in here that I feel that someone died ya know?

Mom wrote to us a few days ago and she slipped a letter in just for me. Gordon and the twins were just included in the mane family one. Not that mom loves them any less but me and her have always had a closeness that isnt there with the others. Maybe its because I used to lie for her when I was younger by pretending to be four when I was realy six so she never had to pay for me on the bus. Its all them unspoken things innit?

This is what my mom said:

Dear Sham

First of all I *heart* you big time. Things have been tough in here. Drug pushers, child merlesters, prostitutes all around. But these women are people too you know? Someones mother, someones daughter, someones sister. I cant confess to knowing what makes some of them tick but when you strip away the crime, they are just like you and me.

I miss you, Gordon and your sisters. I miss dad lots and hope that Aunty Jean isnt poisoning him with her god-awful lasagne! Just make sure that she keeps her hands to herself as she has always had a bit of a thing for your father, the old slag.

I have had lots of time to think about what I did. Stealing that chrimbo club money wasnt such a big deal or so I thought but the law is the law and I cant go saying that it wasnt wrong when it was. I just wanted to tell you to have a good old think about your own life. Dont make the same mistakes like your old mom. Your still young Shampayne. I want your life to be different to mine. Dont piss it away.

I just wanted to tell you that your always gonna be my special little girl and I can hear you saying "Oh Mom!" already. Its allowed, thats what moms are for. I know your a adult now and your capable of taking care of yourself. I love you girl always remember that I am here for you even if I cant be with you right now. At least we have a grate chrismas to look forward to!

Laters

Mom x x x

PS Tell Aunty Jean that Officer Chapman thinks she is hot too. Not that I want a prison screw as a brother in law but knowing Aunty Jean she only wants to knob him not marry him.

PPS Make sure Gordon is changing his duvet every two weeks. It will be like a plank of wood by the time I get paroled otherwise.

PPPS Can you make sure that you nick some top shelf titles from the newsagent for your dad? It means he wont get tanked up and try to shag half the barstaff down the flagging lamb. Have a wank, thats what I say.

Love you loads! Mom

Aaaaw, I *heart* you too Mom! I really do.