One In The Eye For Shampayne

The following day was much more sedait, I am pleased to report. Got up much earlier than other days and managed to get brekkie. The staff were still twitchy about letting us in at 11:52, as they were getting ready for the lunchtime guests.

Still, Shelly and I ate for england. I had two cooked brekkies which frankly were shite, as there was no bacon just some shitty palmer ham and bratvest sausage instead of bangers. STill when your hung over any grub will doodle do. Stuffed shitloads of danish pastrys and bread rolls into a pillow case that I had brought in under my trackie top for the afternoon but got stopped on the way out for trying to carry the big punchbowl full of orange juice out of the dining room. Still, they knew nothing about the box of wine that Shelly nabbed from the store cupboard. Result!

Went down to the pool to inhanse my tan and bought the olive oil and our stereo that we 'bought' from the night market on day one. Had to nick some battries from the supermarket and had a right game as one of the checkout birds recognised me as the one who set the fire alarm off earlier in the week. Had to run like fuck to avoid further arrest. Was so out of breath and my baps realy ached all afternoon as I had not put my bra on.

Got our sunbeds right by the pool which caused a row with the two german women who had been using them before us. How was I to know that leaving a towel and a book on them meant that they were in use? Still, yelling 'bollocks to you love' seems to be intenationaly understood. Result!

Got told off by Ignacio for playing the stereo too loud and felt a bit bad about puking up on him so we turned it down from level 10 to level 9, witch goes to show that I do ocasionaly compermise. Enjoy it while it lasts Ignacio. Bought my Girls Allowed and McFly CDs but seem to have lost the Black Eyed Peas CD that I stole from Caras house. Shit, still she stopped asking for it once I smacked her in the face.

"Oh sorry Cara, I thought you said to me 'can I have a black eye please'"

Ate all the grub and then went swimming. Got told off by Ignacio that diving wasnt allowed so once again I thought I would behave. Any more mouthing off and I was gonna tell him what for though.

Shelly got chatted up by this lad called Darren. He is a fashion desiner who looked camp as tits but was actualy straight. Christ, is everyone trying to look gay these days. I blame David Beckam for turning everyone into fauxmosexuals. Shell went off with Darren for a shag and I lay by the pool reading my Heat and my book. I am half way through 'The Unbearable Lightness Of Being' right now, but its a bit dull to be honest.

Woke up with stomach ache from eating all the food but was aware that I was getting the come on from this David Hasselhoff lookey likey in the pool. Decided to get in and flirt like fuck and ended up giving him a titwank in the deep end. Ignacio blew his whissle and kicked us out. I lost my rag at him this time and pushed him in the pool before inviting Adolf up to my room to continue where we had left off. When we got up to the room, Shelly was screaming the place down with Darren so we went back to Darrens room. His mate Carl was in bed so we had nowhere to go! Shit!

Ended up doing it on the floor of the mens changing rooms in the leisure complex as no-one was around. Adolf was pretty good and gave me his business card but I aint looking for love with a foriegner. Not unless they can pay my air fare anyway.

That was pretty much it, as I had emptied the box of wine on my own and passed out. Woke up the next day in the corridor outside our room. All these guests were walking past and giggling. Big deal. Havent they seen evidence of a young woman enjoying herself on holiday before?

Turns out they were giggling at me because some git had written 'slag' on my forehead in lipstick whilst I was sleeping. I had to smile though, as I have done far worse to Gordon and Shelly when they have been asleep.

Happy days!

Laters x