Banged To Rights

Shit. Have well and truly done it this time. My apearance at the majistrates is on Wednesday at 10:30. It seems that Shampayne is now oficialy an eyesaw in the community.

It was all down to what happened on Wednesday night. Me and Jay went out for chips as we do on a Wednesday. We actualy have chips most nights but not with Jay. He thinks its a once a week treat for me now I am slimming down to be a modal. Ha, more fool him.

Anyways, we had some of that new half sugar Bacardy Breezers as Jay says you can get well ratted and keep your figer. Sat in the park with our chips and the breezers. Mine was an apple and summat and it was dead moreish. They were only 2 for £3 at the offy so we had three lots for a tenner and enough change for a Mars Delite each. I fucking love those but there too small. You want more than two fingers inside you dont you? Emma knows what I am talking about.

Jay decided to play true dare double dare and I ended up losing a double dare and he told me that my forfit was to do a poo and post it through Trudies letter box. After nearly wetting myself laughing at Jays sence of humor, he is a sick fuck after all, I agreed.

I used the polistirene tray from my chips and did the number two in the bogs in the park. Wrapped it up in the chip paper and we couldnt stop laughing all the way to Trudies. I had to wait ages for the street to be clear and crept up the drive. Jay was giggling and putting me off and I nearly bottled it. Got up to the door and had a right game. Seems my poo had got a bit squashed on root and wouldnt tip off the tray so I had to give it a bit of a prod. It fell onto there hall floor and as I started back down the drive the security lights came on so me and Jay just went off as quick as fuck. Result!

Turns out it was all on video though as the police were knocking on the door on Thursday morning at 8:00. Have they no respect for those of us who need our sleep? Bastards. I have been arrested for wilful damage or some shit, pardon the pun if you will. I am in court next Wednesday. God, fuck nose what the verdict is gonna be. Can they send you down for doing that sort of stuff?

Still, Shelly says you have internet in prisons and stuff so I would be able to blog. It aint all that bad.

Oh, and it seems that I am a slag acording to the poll. Bless you Dom for your kind words, but its all a bit obvous that I am a dirty dog when you look at my life. What have I done with the years that god has given me?

Had a right fucking laugh, thats what.

Laters x