He Used To Bring Me Roses
I got to court early, cause my breif said that she had to go through loads of admin crap and stuff. I got up dead early at 08:30, which was a killer after all the Cheeky Vimtos I drank last night at 'Retro Heteros', which is a new 'mixed' bar - basicaly an 80s DJ with loads of boys who dont want to say outrite that they are bummers and think that people mite think there straight cause its a 'mixed' bar. Well, thats what Jay reckons anyway.
The gang all ralyd round last night to cheer me up. If you ask me it was more of a 'last night of freedom' thing in case the Shampayne is banged to rights, innit?
I am pleased to say though that SHAMPAYNE IS A FREE WOMAN! Hurray x 1,000,000 etc.
I am now the proud owner of a ASBO however, which is short for anti socail berhavour order. I am no longer alowed to go down the road that Trudie lives in for any reason at all. Not now, not ever. This is suposed to make sure that any bad blood between our familys is stopped cuz it makes it imposible to post dogshit through her letter box etc.
Still - botherd. I have been there and done that and its not as if I sit around all day thinking of ways to piss Trudie off. The court was trying to make out that I could of had something to do with the kidnaping of her cherwower and pooing in the kitchin sink earlier in the year but they cant prove nowt. Result!
I have got 15 hours of community service at an old bags home which will be a peace of piss. Read some Cathrin Cookson books to them and fluff there pillows. I mean its hardly hard labia is it?
I realy wanna thank all of yous for your suport during the past few days. I am meeting Colin for tea later. He sais we should spoil ourselves and have a sit in Maccie Ds instead of the drive thru. I want him to make it super sized for only 30p! Going to court gives a girl an apetite.
Charlie and Chanelle were gutted as they thought that they were gonna be able to convert my bedroom into a walk in wardrobe. I thought about walloping them for being such *heart*less bitches, but remembred I am a pacifist.
Pass a fist here, pass a fist there...
Laters x
PS I *heart* you all, I realy do!
posted by Andrew at 12:21 PM
6 Comments:
What on earth where they thinking of giving you community service as well as an ASBO on your first offence?
Maybe Trudie's dad has been pulling strings to make the sentence much harsher.
I'd stay well away from them if I were you. He's a dangerous man.
All Tories are the devil's pawns.
12:56 PM
Be really nive to them Sham - sleep with them if possible. They won't have had any action for years and they'll be so grateful they'll leave you everything and then you can buy Colin his Big Mac and he'll be so grateful he'll sleep with you. There you see - I've worked everything out for ya!
12:24 PM
Congratulations Sham.
Old Peoples home? OOoooh, peg your nose with all that pissy smell!
1:38 PM
I would never sleep with an old person Dom! Not unless they were rich and a bit free and easy with there walet.
Someone in there 30s tried to chat me up recently. God, it made me wonder if they had been abused as a kid and were just repeating the cycal or summat.
Thanks Emma. I have never been to yorkshire but am looking forward to seeing the county when I visit manchester in august with Gordon. We are doing the Mardy Grass on canal st.
I have been told that old folks homes are like public bogs and to smear some vic under my nostrals.
Maybe I should think about doing a 'Mark Morrison' and paying someone to do my comm service for me. Trouble is there arent as many people out there as fit as what I am, are there?
PS Mr Andrew - welcome abored, more comments about dwarfs please.
Laters x
8:08 AM
PS Nicci, forgot to say thanks to you too. Nice that youv become a regular visiter here too.
Up the Trumpers!
PS Did the Trumpers know that Whateva Sista has dumped you from 'The Bloggies' for being shit? I think you should complane.
8:09 AM
Whatcha mean you are a free woman?? You wouldn't do it for nowt would ya?
4:53 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home