Soggy Biscuit

It gets even worse!

Seems that on route from Caras barbecew, when Shell had rescued me from being shagged by half of Milton Kenes, I got out of the car at some traffic lites and ran off leaving Shell and Jay frantic with worry.

Thanks to that bloody horrid home made punch that Caras dad made, I somehow thought that the local park was in fact a strip club and I was the main act. Seems that I took my kit off and started doing some stupid sexy dance for all these blokes playing football. Wayne Parker phoned Jay to say that after passing out on the kiddies roundabout, all of the footie players flipped me over and took me from behind. When each had finished they just spun the wheel to the next one until they had all done me. God the shame of it. Its a miracle that I am not having to push my fanny back up with a stick with all that pounding its had lately.

If that was'nt the icing on the cake, it turns out that the local rubgy team decided to have a mass 'soggy biscuit' game whilst I was butt naked on the roundabout, except that I was the biscuit. If you dont know about soggy biscuit then just look it up on the net, I aint explaining.

No wonder I felt so clammy when I came to on the Tuesday morning. Grose.

The worst thing about all of this is that Trudies dad plays in that rugby team and I will just have to kill myself if Ive been shagged by that bastard. I mean, its not the first time that someones been screwed over by the conservatives, but the thought of him going at my foofoo like the duracell bunny just leaves me cold.

Thank god that morning after pill has got rid of the potential babies. I am beginning to feel just like that Annabel Chong. Still, look at it like this, at least Trudie can stop denying all those rumors that her dad was caught cotaging in February. Even if he was gay, the site of me staked out and opened up like a delicate flower was enough to turn him from lily livered to red blooded. Just goes to show that theres hope for Jay yet.