Oh For God Sake Just Die (Part Two)

Wotcher. Cant beleive I have been such a stupid cow.

It seems that Sara Pipalini doesnt actually exist. I had been listening to the telly in the background, UK History, which for once wasnt showing something about world war II - I know - its a fucking miracle.

Looks like when I herd the narater talking about Sara Pipalini being laid by 2400 men in six months that he was actualy refering to the Sahara Pipeline. Jay told me this morning after he had been reading Shampaynes Plaice. Its not my falt that I never paid atention more carefuly to the telly, I was busy picking the dead skin off my feet.

Anyways it seems that the FIVE of you who voted want me to be Kylie. Result! I am halfway there acording to the comments left anyhows. Cheers you lot - but can more of you fucking vote next time purlease!

Went to the old folks home this morning and met Sheila Falkirk the manageress who seemed okay at first but had changed to total queen fucking bitch only an hour later. She got the Shampayne to do some folding of bed linin first witch was okay. Got to meet some of the other staff. Theres Stella, who has been there for four years and has a boz eye. I never knew where to look - the left one or the right and was never sure if she was talking to me or not, so kept saying 'yeah' after each sentence to make sure.

I helped at lunchtime by taking plates of grub to the tables and then had to chat to the old dears. Some of them are alright and were being dead nice to me. One old lady called Sherry kept telling me that we could of been long lost relatives, seeing as we are both named after booze. Silly old goat. Still, she put a folder fiver in my parm and told me to say nothing to Sheila. Result! Will have to make sure I keep her sweet so she can continue to make it worth my while in going.

Most of them seem to just sleep and dont want to talk. Unless you change the chanel on the telly and then its fucking world war III! God, it must be the one plesure left in life as there clearly too old to shag each other. Eeew. The thought of it.

Sheila is a total hoar and bitch fucker becuase she made me take Janice to the toilet and said that I had to supervise her going for a poo. Grose. I didnt know WHERE to look. Spesh as she was straining a bit to get it moving. Eeew. Double grose.

When I bought Janice back to the dinner table, Sheila asked me if Janice had washed her hands. I said 'I dunno has the cat got her tong or summat'. Sheila then grabbed my arm and took me to one side and said 'look here you council flat scum, I dont want you here and if you keep this up then I am going to make things very shitty indeed'

For once I was a bit gobsmacked. Not even my Mom talks to the Shampayne like that. I am not gonna let the bitch get away with it though. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I am back there again on Friday. Gotta get there for frigging 9:00 this time! Bastards.

On another note - cant beleive that Craig has been booted out of the Big Bother house. I thought it was gonna be that fat skanky scumbag Kinga. In fact, I used the phone at the old folks home 23 times to vote for her. Poor Anthony! Jay reckons that Anthony will go to peaces now. Cant wait for the interveiw with Dervina at 9:30.












Must go. Got to get a shag in with the lovely Colin as he is off to Akedo at 9:30. Says he is helping some new lad out with his fitness program. He is so good to all those boys at the fitness club.

PS Dom, Emma and Nicci - there at it again posting coments saying you lot are all made up. Sort em out will ya. Laters!

PPS To anser the question, Chanelle got run over by the DHL delivery van. The driver has screwed Aunty Jean in the past and now he has screwed Chanelle. Poor cow. My *heart* goes out to her at this dificult time.