Once I Had A Secret Love

Sorry about last weekend. I was so bloody mad that after spending an hour writing my blog that blogger just went tits up on me. I simpatheyes with Barnzey, a recent new fan of the websight, who also lost his work. Its not as if I have fucking aeons of time to write my shit neither. Well, bollocks to it, I aint gonna harp on about it no longer.

Well, where do I start? Jay is all loved up right now as he has been swapping texts and emails with a new love interest. Jay is such a secretive bugger though as he wont tell me anything about it, name, where he lives, job etc. Mind you, Jay had kept being a bummer quiet for ages before me and Shelly busted him so being all cloke and dagger is a familair game for the old slag.

I am definately having a girl, its confirmed. Thank fuck for that, seeing as though everyone thinks the baby should be called 'Precious Pashmina'. I realy like the name but Colin isnt so keen. He says it sounds like a members of Destiny Childs, the pop group. I realy like Beyonce though, and who cares if we blur the boundarys a bit with traditoinal names and all that stuff. I want my baby to be specail, just like her mum.

I have quit my health and beaty coarse at collige, as Mrs McConville said there was not point in doing part of a year with the baby due and all that. I cant be arsed to join a year later with all new students and all that malarkey, so I am gonna go on the dole for a bit. Its only like maternity leave but the govement start paying it a lot sooner. Result!

Mom is gonna get released in time for Chrimbo, thank fuck. Dad and Aunty Jean have packed in the shagging each other game, as Aunty Jean usualy gets bored after the fourth time. She just wants new cock all the time. A bit like my brother Gordon. He has been seeing a member of that failed boyband Phixe who lost out in Popstars The Rivels. He met him at a club in London a couple of weeks ago and got off with him in the toilets. Such a romantic. I told him that he should keep doing him long enough to get me an invite to a record company. Once this baby is born I could become another Kylie or Rachael Stephens, innit!

Colin is spending loads of time building his career and reputatoin with the martail arts training. Those boys at the club are dead lucky to have someone so dedicated looking after them. Trouble is Colin comes home so tired that he doesnt want to do me as much these days. I know its not cuz I am fat or preggers, I mean I am looking well horney at the minute. Cant say its such a big deal, seeing as though I have that huge dildo to keep me entertaind. Thank christ for Ann Summers, the patron saint of masterbation.

I am going to Nottingham with Shelly on Wendesay for a look around the shops and then its a check up on the baby at hospital with Colin on Friday.

Got confirmatoin that my comunity service is completed. They said the risk assesment was too high to make me do phisical work now I am with child. Hoo fucking ray I say. Result. After that shit with the old fokes home and the allergatoins of theft I think I have paid back to the comunity alright - in sweat. But no blood or tears, cuz I dont do that squish squish runny eyes thing. The Shampayne is hard you know.

Anyways, I have been promising to big up the lovely Dom for ages now by posting his lovely trannie phase on Shampaynes Plaice. Sorry to all you trumpers for the lack of posting and comments etc. I still love you big time.

Enjoy. He only did this for a little while, as he attracted the wrong sort of man. Bless.