*Disclaimer* This blog is full of blatant lies and contains images of people totally unconnected to any text that may sit above or below it ALRIGHT?! Contact Shampayne if you have a complaint about anything on here. Laters! x

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Shit

I havent blogged all week cuz I have been preocerpied by my life. My life has turned to shit.

Why? Cuz I am bloody well pregnant after all.

Worst thing is that Colin and I have been using condoms since the first week when I had a similer pregnancy scare. He was dead grown up about it and said we shouldnt risk our relatoinship by adding a baby into the eqautoin or summat like that. I thought it was senseble as I dont realy want kids yet and abortoins are just a pain in the arse. Well maybe more a pain in the foo foo, but you know what I mean.

It stands to reason that the baby was fathered that bastard scrote of a enema boss at work. I only lasted a day because the work was dull as fuck. These stupid bitches from the tills kept asking how much things were on the internal phone system just cuz they wouldnt scan. If I had a pound for every time I replied "Its a pound Leanne, everythings a pound!", I would of been a milionhare. So, the boss calls me in tells me at the end of day one that Leanne and Shaznay have complaned that I have "an atitude problem", so he says that I can only keep the job by giving him a blowie.

I decided that it was time to teach the git a lesson, so when he whopped his todger in my gob I gave it a good old bite and did a runner. Not before having taken £50 out of the till. Result!

I got a call on my moby at home later saying that I was gonna get prosecuted for theiving the till, so I said "your DNA is still inside my mouth, you press charges and your gonna get a rape charge mate". He backed right off. Double result!

Still, none of this changes the fact that I am having a baby by someone other than my lovely Col. I havent told him and have been thinking about what or how to bring it up. Shelly and Jay have been lovely telling me that we could always say it must of been a split johnny or summat. Not sure Col will buy it and I may end up being dumped. Shit.

What should I do? Should I tell Colin whats hapened and face being dropped like a hot potatoe?

Should I pertend that the baby is Colins and play happy familys?

Should I get shut of the baby and make out that none of this has even hapened?

Whats a girl to do? I know the trumpers are all on holiday, but all of my other tresured readers can surley give me some good well healed advice right now? Laters my loyle freinds.

Sham, by name and nature x

2 Comments:

Blogger Dom said...

OMG I can't believe those photos are on the web... Oh well. Hope Jay enjoys them.

On the matter of young Babysham: Hmmm. Very tricky. Whilst I agree with Em that honesty is the best policy, if you're really against that you could get Col drunk after aikido one night and shag'im without a condom - it might be enough to convince him that it's a baby Col too. Of course if the baby drops out looking like Pound-man then you're buggered but it could be worth a try.

Still at least now you have the pleasure of knowing that Pound-man won't be having any more kids!! Let us know what you decide to do!!

Dom xx

2:25 PM

 
Blogger Andrew said...

You guys are just the best freinds a girl could have. And I have never even met you!

I just dont know what the fuck to do.

My head is spinning around, right round like a record.

Baby. Gulp!

10:15 PM

 

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