Hi bitches, queens and muthafuckas. Its Shampayne in the house! Yes, after sinking into a bit of a derpression over this baby malarkey I have decided its time to pick myself up, dust myself down and be a grown up about it. Ive had a bit of a makeover to cheer myself up.

What do you think? Ive actualy lost a bit of weight in the last month which is dead wierd seeing as I am up the stick. Still us bigger girls tend to show a bit later than skinny beyotches. Result!

Emma and Nicci, do you think this look is working? I dont want to look all cheap but my Colin says he loves my folds of flesh and my curvs and says I should show myself off a bit more. I think I look well fuckable myself, but then again Mum said I was never one to hide my bush under a light, or whatever the saying is.

I decided that I would take Doms advice and shag Colin senseless without the condom. I timed it all right and got shut of Dad to Aunty Jeans for the night. I know there fucking each other but I know its all gonna come to a stop once Mom is released from prison. I would rather Dad shagged someone in the family than a total stranger, at least I know Aunty Jean washes her minge regularley. You should see some of the dirty cows that go with just anything down the local pub. Slappers, all of em. At least the McClusky family is a bit picky about which cock goes into a hole. Even if my brother Gordon is excluded from that statement. He is a walking sperm bank that boy.

So, Col came back from the fitness center and I got him a Bacardy Breezar from the fridge and popped one of Dads old porn VHS tapes on. It was a gang bang with two blonds in called Sugar Kane and Candy Kane, who were sisters hell bent on making it big in Holywood. The only thing they seemed to make big were all the cocks that went into EVERY horrorfice that those girls had, including ears and eyes. Dirty bitches! Still, it got Col dead horny and he had to have me there and then on the lounge carpet. He said 'we need pertection' and I told him it was alright as the painters and decoraters were in and there was no chance I was gonna get preggers. He bought it and duly knocked his mansoup up my chuff. Result!

Anyways, I waited until yesterday before braking the news to Colin that he is gonna be a daddy. He took it dead well and cried like a right poof! I have never seen Col get upset, he kept saying things like 'I cant beleive it!' and 'A baby, fucking hell, a baby', which just confirmed that he is dead made up after all. He said he had to go home and have some space to think, which probabley meant he was gonna go out and get me some suprise present or summat. Result! Here's my lovely gorgous fiansay Colin after I told him the good news. He looks so happy doesnt he?

























I have now been having a good old think about babys name and have shortlisted some of them with Jay and Shelly. Colin has been dead quiet this afternoon and hasnt contributed any ideas. Keeps texting one of his mates and just saying 'yeah, whatever' when the three of us have been coming up with ideas. Straight blokes are crap with all things babywise arent they? Emma knows what I am talking about, she had to name all three of her kids by herself. Mind you, the fathers hardly knew Emma let alone the kids. Thats how life goes.

Tomorrow I will publish the list of baby names, and you lot get to pick the name! How good am I to you. Got to get back to the dining table where Shelly and Jay are flicking through old copies of Hello and Okay for more ideas. What about Sapphire Diamonique Rochelle? That's classy.

Laters x