How Common

Chanelle has passed her driving test and has bought herself a car. She paid £250 for it and got Diamond Dave from AutoExpress to tart it up with some nifty transfers.

What do you reckon? Personaly I think it looks dead common. Ever fucker is waring Burbery right now and quiet frankley I am sick of it.

This is why Shampayne has burnt her bra. Not in some femanist way but because I dont want to ware what everyone else is waring.

Colin had a big chat with me about my personal style and said that there was nothing derstingashing me from other girls. He said that I should find my own way, try and acesorise and make my outfits more unicque. He is such a love. How many other boyfreinds would have so much advice for their girls? Shelly says I am dead lucky. I know it too.

God, got absolutley hammered on Friday night. There was a special promotion on at 'The Pink Pony' and me and the gang decided to go down and check it out. I havent had much of a night out since getting up the stick and thought that one night wouldnt hurt much. Well, it was triples for the price of singles and I was getting them bought for me left right and center. Result! Got so shitfaced that I fell over on the dancefloor and ended up ripping this queens blouse as I lunged for something to hold onto when going arse over tit.

Turns out this was no ordinary blouse but a Versarchy. The mincer started giving me evils and saying 'do you know who I am', 'do you know how much this cost'. When I replied and said, 'yes, your Mary, I know who you are darling and no I dont know how much it cost but it probably meant you had to do two wanks and a blowie with some bank manager, if Carl behind the bar is to be beleived.'

There was then this almighty fucking row between said poof and the barman. 'How dare you tell them I am rent' blah blah blah, she was saying. Yada yada yada, talk about making a mountain out of a molehell. Left them to it and danced to 'Reach' by S Club 7 and then realy wanted to do the 'rowing boat' floor routine, but the bastard DJ wouldnt play the rowing boat song. Ended up doing it to 'Chain Reaction' by Diana Ross. DJ kept dissing me and the gang by calling us chavs.

I ended up finishing the night by pouring my last Smirnoff triple over his turntable. That put paid to his holyer than thow atitude and general hoity toity behavoir. Fucking queens with atitude, cant bare them.

Still, with my lovely freind Jay I know that not all homos are evil. Jay is still NOT TELLING ME about his new phonesex pal and hot text date. He says he still hasnt met this fella, but its gonna happen soon. God, I could never fingerfuck myself with some total stranger over the telephone - seems that these gays are happy to talk dirty to just anyone.

Not me sweety, my lips are sealed!

Laters x

PS Emma, give my love to all the trumpers. Keep up the swotting, it will all pay off. Wheres Nicci and Dom these days? I miss there comments, espesh as Dom was plastered all over my plaice recently. Doesnt he love me no more?

PPS Kleverkloggs, get knitting. I want those bootees!